Started with a feeling deep within me that couldn't be satisfied by any person or thing. What in the world could this be?? This insatiable feeling pulling and tugging at me. I guess I heard Him calling me, but until now I had been running. Too afraid. I wasn't ready. But now I am. I need Him more than ever. I need Jesus!
So I searched for Him the best way I knew how. Where would I find Him??
Bright and early Sunday morning I decided to begin my quest. I know a church, its not too far away!! It seemed like it took forever to get there, but I did. As I walked up the church steps, I felt a rumbling in my stomach. I thought maybe I should turn back, but I kept going. I hit the door, then came streaming tears. I had cried so many tears throughout my years, but this was different. It was uncontrollable. The first great release! Before I knew it I was scooted up to the alter, repeating the sinner's prayer.
Ok, so I did it. Was this the end? No just the beginning. I could tell from this feeling that there was so much more. My first encounter with the supernatural Power of God had me hungry for more. Yet, it wasn't a hunger that struck me to move. So I laid back while He pursued. Finally I began to see that all along He had been looking for me. So He kept leading and drawing me close. Wherever He lead I was destined to go. He was so faithful to keep His word and stay close to me as I drew closer to Him. He made Himself so real to me, and was much much more than I imagined Him to be.
This relationship began not like any other. It was very different. Not quite Love at first sight. But it was undoubtedly a deep lasting love penetrating my heart and soul. He knew me for many "years" He had been watching me for quite some time. He somehow knew everything there was to know about me, better than I knew myself. He knew my every thought, He saw every tear that fell or didn't fall. He was ready to mend!
So I had to find out more about Him, to find out more about His love. I needed to know everything about Him, His likes, dislikes. How I could please Him, How I could give my life to Him. It sure wasn't easy at first, the long hard process of dying to self, of putting my needs aside for the One that loves me unconditionally. Laying your life down sounds obsurd in a world where its all about me, me, me, me, me. Yet He did it. He made Himself flesh and dwelled in a world full of sin. He was beaten and slain, wounded and killed just so that I could lay my sins upon Him, to offer me forgiveness and reconciliation ( closeness to Him and My Father). To give me the choice of life. How could I possibly love Him? How could I express my gratitude? No greater love has anyone shown than to lay down His life for a friend, and He did it for me. Even though I ignored Him time and time again.
What could I possibly give Him in return? What is He asking of Me? That I give Him my life as a reasonable sacrifice. So that He could use me..
Lord knows I desperately wanted to give Him all of me, yet I had no idea how to begin to do that. That's where the Holy Spirit comes in. The comforter, the Spirit of God sent to empower, to guide, and to lead us into righteousness. Without Him, our righteousness is like a flithy rag. There is nothing we can do to please Him - being born in sin - but to be born again. To realize that our lives can only truly be lived through Him.
So I gave Him my life, and as if He hasn't already done enough, He just keeps blessing me. He gives me joy for my sorrows, and peace in the midst of storms. He gave me a second chance and a brand new beginning. I can truly do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am amazed at how He reveals Himself to me everyday. Those old cliches I hated hearing now have meaning. Brand new mercies everyday truly keeps me going. Even when I fall and make mistakes, He is always waiting lovingly with open arms to keep me going on my way. He gives me hope for a brighter future. In his presence is the FULLNESS of joy. He allows me to come freely into His presence where I experience a little taste of heaven here on earth. He's shown me that there is so much more to life, so much more to Him than just going to church on Sundays. He can be found outside of the four walls of the church. He can be found in His Word, He is His Word. He wants to come into your heart and He is ready to meet you wherever you are. He really does love you and has a wonderful plan and purpose for your life!! When God has a plan, no man can stop it. It may be delayed but never stopped.
Get to know Him, He is amazing!!!!!!
..... And this is only half of my story...
No comments:
Post a Comment